A Knitting Disaster Has Struck

My very first knitting disaster has struck.

It is my Afghan formerly known as Scarf.

I decided to adapt it into a lapblanket for my Grannie, after seeing one in a store. The perfect part of that plan meant that I didn't have to do anymore of the pretty wide rows of garterstitch because it was definitely long enough for Grannie to use when sitting in her wheelchair (she recently hurt herself and is now in the wheelchair for a while).

However, this meant that the AfkaS was not quite wide enough to go across the lap, so I decided to pick up stitches along the side and put on about 5 more rows of stockinette to match the bit of pattern I put on it (three rows of stockinette, which made a nice contrast to the garterstitch). So I picked up stitches along the side and painfully knit the border on. After row 4, I discovered that the border was on backwards, so that the purl side was showing on the right side of the piece.

I decided that I didn't care. Knitting those rows actually hurt. Not only were those rows even MORE boring than knitting the length, but knitting them was painful in a way that I've never had to go through before. It was more painful than knitting a whole ball of Shine Worsted (stockinette) in one day and mostly one sitting.

It had to do with the splitty-ness and the tension of the yarn I was using (and USED to love, but now super hate.

Anyway. That is not the disaster.

This is the disaster.

The border is supposed to be flat and even, just an extension on main piece. It is this wide curvy ruffle thing that is erupting from the side of the AfkaS. Its huge. It is not at all what I was hoping for.

I do not know how to fix it, but I do know who to blame.

Who To Blame

1. Knitter. She is the one who taught me how to knit, and lives two time zones away. She lives in a place where I can't just run upstairs and bang on the door and get her to show me how to do something. Therefore, some of the blame belongs to her.
2. Yarn Harlot. Somewhere in her blog she mentioned picking up stitches and knitting off the edge. Sounds easy. But its not. Not at all. Her stuff comes out looking like pretty lace. Mine comes out looking like.... I have no idea. Crappy ruffles. They aren't even cute ruffles. Just lame crappy ruffles.
3. The person on our floor who keeps stealing our paper. You big jerk. Not being able to read my paper on the days when you steal it obviously made me get the whole picking up stitches thing wrong. Do you feel any guilt at all?