Saturday, April 29, 2006


Prince Charming is home. Prince Charming is home. Prince Charming is home. Prince Charming is home. Prince Charming is home.

It's very exciting. In some ways it feels so odd, but in others it is like he never left at all.

When I was getting ready to go pick him up, I could feel my heart begin to slowly beat faster and harder. It was like waking up from winter hibernation.

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

I'd Rather Be....

sleeping in the sun
eating something tasty
reading something that wasn't a textbook
painting a picture that was actually good
riding my bike
thinking about something that I wanted to, not had to.
writing more haikus about outer space

but mostly, done with finals.

So Close

I have one final left after today. That means that not only will I be done, but Prince Charming should soon be home. Soon. I keep telling myself soon. Now would be nicer, but this is one of those cases where you get what you get.

All in all, I'm feeling pretty good. For finals' week.

What this acutally means:

1) Mood fluctuations - this can range from euphoria to irritation to depression and even combinations of all three simultaneously.
2) Sleep deficit mounting*
3) Sugar high/Sugar crash - depending on how much remembering to eat real food has happened and how much snacking on bad things to make up for aforementioned forgetting, this tettertotter can swing gently, or it can swing hard.
4) Caffiene addiction is doing very well. Regular and plentiful doses of coffee being inhaled. Any stomach lining left at this point is purely coincidental.
5) Minimal hygiene standards kept. I am very proud to say that while I may look like I just rolled out of bed, I do not smell that way. So there.

*This actually does not apply to me right now because something happened to my alarm clock this morning. I remember setting it. I remember hearing some loud beeping noises. Then I remember loud and annoying music.

After that I don't remember much except going to write my sociology exam in some strange apartment in a town I've never been in. I walk into the room and my hands are freezing. I start talking to my professor, and he reaches out and takes a hold of my hands because I just can't seem to get warm. Then there are monsters in the room, and they are meditating. They meditate so much that their heads come off of their bodies and start floating up the wall. This, however, does not mean that the monsters are safely dead. No, it just means that they are super-monsters. My professor is king of the monsters because he is the best at it. I'm hoping I can get a rewrite as I run out of the apartment and into the city, trying to escape hungry student-eating monsters.

The next thing after that I wake up and realize that my alarm clock is off, and sitting on the bed with me. Not on my bedside table where it belongs. Mysteries abound.

Monday, April 24, 2006


About the weather here?

Pretty In Pink

Today is a pretty-pretty-pink day.

What that means:

I'm wearing all pink. I have my pink "bride to be" pajama pants and a pink shirt on today. I'm dressed very matchy-matchy. The rest of me looks about what you would expect for a "screw pants" kind of day. My hair is mostly brushed, I think I brushed my teeth, but I'm dead certain that I put on deoderant.

See? I'm not completely lazy.

This was almost the first day I wore sweatpants to school. I say almost, and am still a little bitter. For this, like most things, blame can be placed firmly in my mother's corner.

She dropped by this morning for coffee and taxes. It was a nice visit. We got to talk for a bit and catch up while I signed my tax-thingie for the accountant. And just so you all know, yes, I do realize that once I start having to do my own taxes, I'll be screwed. She let me know what's going on out in the bush, and I tried to keep her from frantically cleaning my house. I keep telling her that during finals and/or paper season, University regulations forbid cleaning your house. This also can include doing your hair and showering, but I generally don't go that far.

She never believes me. She keeps saying stuff about me rotting to death or getting lost forever in laundry piles and how finals seem to start earlier and earlier every year.

Oh well. We also talked about my blog. Yay! I'm famous*. I gave my sister Teddy the link last week (for the fifty-millionth time) when she was bored at work to give her something to do. Now family news includes "An is funny. Who knew?" Teddy told this to Mum, and Mum is going to look at it now. Although changes may have to be made. Mum got all excited about this new and exciting bit of news and said "Panda even figured out that she's Panda. What do you call me? Mama Bear?" I looked at her, and not thinking, replied "Oh, you're just Mum." Oops.

So, Mum, I hearby dub thee Mama Bear. Long may you reign. Etcetera, etcetera, blah blah blah. Enjoy.

Then we both had to get going. I ran around frantically trying to find something I wanted to wear today to school before Mama Bear welshed on the ride to the U that I weaseled out of her. Mama Bear kept throwing nice jeans at me. I wanted big fluffy sweatpants. Mama Bear invented the No Ugly Sweatpants In My Car Rule. We compromised on my cute pink pj pants. Of course, this was after much begging, pleading, and sobbing that this was the last week of my life where I could realistically wear pajamas out of the house.**

*To my mom. Does that even count?
**I'll be a grown-up after this week, and then I have to be you know, wear clothes that make me look like a grown-up, and not the overgrown slob that I find so difficult to outgrow.

Thursday, April 20, 2006

Well, I Thought It Was Cute

After posting about my cute new skirt, I decided that I needed to show it off. I decided that Knitter would have to make that unfortunate sacrifice.

I knocked on her door, and ran in to show her before I descended into my cave.

Gamer, her husband, was also there.

"Look at my new skirt! Isn't it cute?" says me.

"Have you had that skirt for a long time?" says Gamer. The look on his face is cautious but also somewhat confused.

Knitter nods, and says hello back to me.

"Umm, no. I got it a little while ago though. It hasn't really been nice enough yet to wear it. Isn't it fun?"

"I see. Did you buy it like that? Did it cost extra?" The look on his face is steadily growing more suspicious.

"Yes I bought it like that, but it didn't cost extra. I thought it was fun." I explain.

"Yes, Gamer. That's the style now." Knitter defends me and my fashion choice! Yay! Well, actually she's just informing Gamer of current trends, but I'll take what I can get.

Gamer gives his final nod. "Well, that is a nice skirt." The look on his face says somewhat otherwise. In fact, it looks alot like:

Dear Addressee,
I think that you are crazy, but am too well-brought up to ever say so. Otherwise, I hope that you have a nice rest of your day.

I go downstairs.

Prince Charming will like my skirt. Although I think that he's much better at smiling and nodding.

This was supposed to be the post I wrote to reward myself after my test today. I decided to write it anyway. Also my first attempt at conversation in forever. When did that get to be hard? I need to find my punctuation book again. Aargh. I really did hate reading that book.

It's So Unfortunate When You Start Losing Your Mind

Well. Today I've finally done it. I lost my mind.

I've been studying for this test and it really hadn't been going all that well. It is a very hard class, and it's made harder by the fact that the subject matter is very depressing. I frankly will be unbeliveably happy when this semester will be finally done.

However, back to my story.

So, studying, studying, more studying.

One of the questions on the test is about a campus landmark (a sundial). A landmark I've never heard of or seen before. To say that I'm cranky about having to find this stupid landmark that I've passed by and never seen at least once a week for over 20 months now is a vast understatement. I go look. I'm looking on the ground, I'm looking in trees. I'm not finding it. I start looking at the building. I'm trying to figure out how far this building goes around and where someone would put a freaking sundial. Don't they have to go on the ground, face up? This building (Old Arts/Convocation Hall) is very lovely. On the north side of the building, I find the sundial. Its about halfway up the building on the wall. The writing is rather faint, which causes even more frustration, but as I get closer, I can read it.

I only count the sunny hours. Class of '30.

I smile. The tension that has been following me so far breaks. I move on, and go to the building where my test will finally be. I'm about 1.5 hrs early for the test. I start re-reading notes and thinking about the essay I'll have to write soon.

The tension comes back. I start getting scattered. And hyperventilating.

It's getting back to awful. I get to my classroom today half an hour early. I've been trying to read and trying to read and all I'm really doing is freaking myself out.

It is ten minutes 'til the test starts and I have no idea where anyone is. Someone should at least show up a bit early.

I'm very much freaking out. Did they change where the test was? Did I get the time wrong? Because I totally know when and where the test is. I go to the computer lab next to the class and log in.

My test is tomorrow.

I don't know if I should be drinking more coffee, or stopping drinking it altogether.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

A Wee Update

"The curse is come upon me," cried
the Lady of Shallott.

Impending doom has struck. Also known as final exam week(s). I have been sleeping and studying. Monday was spent mostly sleeping after the long weekend.

Tuesday I did some spring cleaning and some studying.

Today I showered. I tell you this, gentle readers, because today I look very cute. Its true. I do. It is absolutely amazing what a shower can do. I'm wearing my new skirt. It looks something like this, however, it is a blue denim, has bleach stains scattered across the front, and the pockets are in the right place. With my little mini, I'm wearing a big white tunic-thing that is quite possible the oldest thing I own. And flip-flops. Because today is beautiful and sunny and warm (unlike Sunday, when I decided to dress up in a skirt for Easter Sunday, and then it promptly SNOWED! grr. arrgh.)

I bought my new skirt when I'd come to the realization that I'd forgotten what my legs look like. I was also pretty sure that Prince Charming had also forgotten. Plus, I've always wanted a miniskirt, but they tended to be too short. In the "Is she going through a bad break-up and her ex took scissors to all of her clothes and this is what she had left?" kind of too short. Also known as "If your mother only knew, she lock you in the house." That kind of too short.

Prince Charming will be home in 6 days.

Wedding things are going well, at this exact point in time. This guarantee only lasts for the next five minutes, or until finals end and I start thinking about the future again. Whichever comes soonest.

A Quick List - Or Things I'd Rather Be Doing Right Now
1) Reading something that wasn't assigned to me as homework.
2) Dancing.
3) Eating hot hot hot wings.
4) Painting.
5) Making a very cool anklet that I got the idea for today. It will have to wait. Of course.
6) Watching Seasons 2-Infinity of Firefly.
7) More napping.

A Small Gift

From the Endicott Studio's Free E-card. Celebrating National Poetry Month.

I thought that this was particularly encouraging, what with finals dragging everyone down and all.

This was taken from Neil Gaiman's poem, Instructions.

Friday, April 14, 2006

Being Asked Questions

I remember that when I graduated from high school, the question most asked was "So, what are you going to do next?"

I hated being asked this question. I knew that people only asked because a) they cared and were curious or b) were just killing time, shooting the breeze and didn't really care.

Either way, it meant that I had to have something to answer with. This was a bit of a problem because I wasn't really sure back then. You develop your stock semi-amusing answer, however, and learn to deftly change the topic.

This is also how I also answer the inevitable " Wow, you sure are tall, do you play basketball? No, well you really ought to, I bet the coach would sure love you."

My usual response?

Something self-depricating about a lack of both talent and coordination. It's both true and non-offensive. This is repeated ad nauseum instead of responding more truthfully and completly with: "I'd rather stab pencils in my eyes than play a competitive sport, especially basketball, with highly competitive and agressive athletes, because that whole team-sport thing actually sounds kind of like a mid-level ring of hell. Right in between the one for jerks who park in handicapped parking and the ring for overly biased journalists with no understanding of proper research methods."

Oddly enough, I used to get asked that question ALL THE TIME. Especially by strangers, the more random the stranger, the more likely I get that same damn question. Now my random stranger question still revolves around how tall I am, but with a new twist.

It is now: "Wow, you sure are tall. It must be really hard to find boyfriends tall enough."

My usual response: "Nah, my fiance is about the same height I am. Whoever's tallest just depends on the shoes we wear."

What I will someday say if I ever get annoyed enough: What? Seriously? Aaaargh. I'm leaving. I have better things to worry about than how tall my boyfriend is.

I'm now getting asked the "So, what will you do now with your spanking new degree? Grad school?"

It's understandable. I know. Enquiring minds want to know. My answer?

"Grad school? Dear God in heaven, please no. Not more school. Not for a while. Maybe a job. I hear you get money when you do them. That sounds very fun."

I've been working on this degree for six years. That isn't to say I've always been in school, but it has been my overarcing goal for that long. That is a long time. That's a full quarter of my life. I won't say never for more school, because the world has a way of throwing forever in your face, but I will say not right now.

I'm also getting married this summer, and then moving two timezones away. To a very large city where none of my friends live. I'll know a few people there, but mostly it will be people I've only very recently met, and no family of mine.

That is a lot of change. So to do all that and start school again (even if I wanted too) would be too much. Plus the whole money thing. It sounds intruiging.

My plans aren't really any more concrete than that. I don't know if that is a good thing or a bad thing. On one hand, I'll have options. On the other, I'll have no (well, little) direction. We'll see how I do in this world with the B.A.

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Something A Bit Lighter

1) Today marks my first week of flipflops. NO MORE SHOES!!!!! YAY!!!!! This means that summer is here to stay.

2) Bunny Report - The bunny is looking well and fat. I saw him as I was leaving today, and he matches much better now that all of his white is gone, and the snow has melted.

3) The Scholar-Poet is currently ignoring me. Oh, no, he's just emailing his girlfriend. I guess I won't be all mad at. He is the only person who I've ever written a limerick for. That makes him famous. Well. Famous to me.

4) Prince Charming will be home in exactly two weeks. Not only will we be in the SAME PROVINCE, but we will be done our separations. Together. It feels a bit strange. It even sounds strange.

"When the Lord took back the captivity of Zion, we were like those who dream."

That's how I'm feeling.

Well, plus the fact that I'm also tired right now and totally not looking forward to finals. I, however, think that it all contributes.

The End of an Era

Last night it suddenly hit me.

I had the last class of my undergraduate degree today. This thing that I've been working on for so long, has almost ended.

This has been the most difficult thing I've ever done, and it's Finished. It's Over.

These words keep echoing in my brain. It feels so strange as they roll around and reverberate like church bells tolling.

Last night I was remembering all of the things that have happened since I started this degree. It was a lot, and very heavy.

1) Moved out.
2) Moved back.
3) Moved back and forth so many times that I've actually forgotten how many moves I've made.
4) Did my "wild experimental" stage. I use quotes here because as wild goes, I was pretty unexciting.
5) Did the therapy thing.
6) Watched my brother die. Cried a lot. Things get fuzzy.
7) Ended the therapy thing.
8) Got kicked out of school.
9) Quit my (very well-paid and most excellent) job.
10) Found a new and crappy job.
11) Got fired from said new and crappy job.
12) Was Officially Unemployed.
13) Found new and even crappier job, one that will never ever be put on my resume.
14) Regained some self-esteem, and quit that job.
15) Was unemployed again. Found new job.
16) Found a better job.
17) Went back to school.
18) Met this guy, who seemed to be pretty cool. We talk lots.
19) Left that school as soon as I could, for a different school.
20) Remembered how to breathe again.
21) Started on finishing my degree. Went back to school full-time.
22) Pretty Cool Guy turns into Prince Charming.
23) Life with Prince Charming is pretty wonderful.
24) Discover that life without Prince Charming is both terrible and boring.
25) Get engaged.
26) Live in the never-ending maze of wedding-madness and homework.

This is definitely an end. The best part? There's a new beginning coming. When I'm not too busy hyperventilating (really not all that good about change), I'm really excited about what will be coming next.

Monday, April 10, 2006

More Busyness?

So, all of a sudden, I'm getting all these new readers. Yay! Hi! Come on in. Take your shoes off, and help yourself to whatever is in the fridge.

Now I'm feeling all this pressure to keep coming up with new and interesting things to say. Unfortunately all you get is me.

A Clarification:

Earlier I talked about doing something to my hair that I'd never done voluntarily before. It had been done a few times before to magnificent effect on Halloween. I really wish that I have pictures to show, because you'd be impressed. Stiletto is a queen of the comb and hairspray.

I'm talking about backcombing. I avoided it for years. The last time it was cool, I deliberately avoided that trend like the macarena (which I'm still proud to say that I can't do). I had long hair, I had short hair, but I never had big teased hair.

Mum thinks it is hilarious that I've started occasionally added pouf to my hair. When I was little, my sister Teddy and I would tease her and complain about the amounts of hairspray and teasing she would do to herself. Pouf was a bad word in our house.

Now she can't seem to stop laughing. I suppose it's only fair. Or something. Stupid karma.

Friday, April 07, 2006

A Week of Busyness

Oddly enough, this week was:

a) busy, and
b) involved actually spending time with real live people.

Real Live People. Not just people like Buffy and the Scoobies. Or Angel.

Crazy huh? Although I did finish of the seventh season of Buffy. And have started on Angel.

What I thought of Season 7 of Buffy.

1) Kennedy is the most annoying character in the world. Seriously. I am a peaceful, non-confrontational person. Kennedy would talk, and I wanted to jump into the TV screen and slap her in the face. If that didn't make her stop, punching in the nose was my Plan B.

2) Some may be aware of my deep and abiding love for Firefly. Also, a tiny crush on Captain Reynolds. In season 7, Nathan Fillion plays the main villian's first henchman. He likes to go around cutting up girls.

My thought process when I first saw Nathan Fillion on the screen:
a) Yay! It's Nathan Fillion. Yay! More Captain-y goodness!
b) What is he doing? Why is he doing that to that poor girl? What is going on? The Captain would never do.... Oh. He did. Why did he just do that?
c) She's practically the same age as Kaylee. That's so terible. How could he do that? Buffy is going to have to hurt him lots now.
d) Zoe is so going to kick his ass all over the place.
e) hmm. Turns out he's pretty tough. Buffy should call Zoe, and also Jane. He could bring Vera and totally help. Space age guns should help against massive evil powers, right?
f) Poor Captain. He went all crazy-like. I need to watch more Firefly in order to restore my faith in the world and Nathan Fillion.

3) Thank you Joss Whedon, you big jerk. Thanks for killing off my two favourite characters. Jerk. Why do you always do that? You do know that the other kids won't want to play with you if you keep on doing that.

4) In the commentaries, JW kept on talking about how tired and exhausted he was.
Season 7? My least favourite of all. I will say no more.

Originally this was going to be part of a much larger post, as I was going to introduce my friend, Whistle Twice, but I'm doing stuff with Stilletto and have to go. She is throwing a party tonight!

Monday, April 03, 2006

A Weekend of Busyness

This weekend was interesting because:

1) It was busy.
2) I experimented with my hair and did something I've never done on my own, of my own free choice before.
3) I saw lots of lovely people.
4) I found out that some people* LIKE MY LISTS! I know, it sounds crazy. It probably is. Panda told me today that she loves my lists. They make her laugh. (fyi, I use lists all the time for correspondence, not just here on my blog) Panda gets alot of my lists as she is also a bridesmaid of mine.
5) I went looking at shoes. Very nice and kindof expensive shoes.

Exciting? Yes.

Did I think that I actually had more things to say? Umm, also yes. Unfortunately, I'm feeling pretty scattered right now, so I'll have to make more sense later. Yay for you. Enjoy the anticipation.

*and by people, I really just mean Panda